I’m not much on setting New Year’s resolutions due to the fact that I have very little self control and on top of that January 1st isn’t my deadline to make a change for the better, or worse. So to me New Years is probably my least observed holiday of the 24 holidays listed in my Outlook Calendar. Some of you may have 25 but I don’t count one of those… But I digress. Now notice I said observed, not celebrated. Definitely have celebrated for the better, and ended up worse. But we’ll get to that. Reflecting back I haven’t really celebrated like I feel the holiday deserves. And again I probably won’t, because it’s just not productive to make a list of things I will never do or change. You can call it realism or stubbornness. Interestingly enough on average only 7% of resolutions are actually followed through on. This is based on a completely bogus statistic that I just made up, but it did sound pretty legit as you were reading it, huh? So instead of keeping balance of misgiving commitments for the next year I am going to look back to the most memorable New Years experiences…
Circa 1995 – After a long, full day playing volleyball at a co-ed tournament in Lake Oswego the gang ended up at “Seaside Randy’s” house for the New Years party. A night of drinking heavily and full contact Spades (yak em’) followed by “Seaside Randy’s” brilliant idea for the whole party to streak the neighborhood. There was probably about 20 of us barebacking the community at the stroke of midnight.
Circa Y2K – With all the hype surrounding Y2K, I had went and bought the most expensive police scanner available. The ex and I, spent the whole night listening. Needless to say it was very entertaining. And not that I would ever do this, but at the time this scanner also would pick up 900mhz cordless phones. Wink, Wink.
Circa 2006 or 2007 (not exactly positive) – My Hank Moody phase. Pretty self explanatory if you watch Californication. But to be a bit more specific, I completely pickled my liver that night and sang FHG by Tenacious D on Karaoke. Ended up passing out in my car in the bar parking lot. And when I awoke the next morning, apparently I had attempted multiple times to throw up out my car window. It didn’t work. So I spent the whole day taking apart my driver’s side door. Not only was there puke on the inside and outside, but when I had rolled down the window it went down inside the door jam. This was the last time I have drank until I chucked.
Happy New Year 2014!
