Kansas City Shuffle (everybody looks right, and you go left...)
This story involves 3 long time friends. Two guys who switch between mastermind and thug when the opportunity calls upon the needed title. And the damsel in distress who has always been drawn into their madness, mostly unwilling. But her transformation from “precious moments” to “devil in a blue dress” is pure artistry when backed into the metaphorical corner. Bonnie and Clyde and Clyde.
With fifteen years since their last “encounter”, It was time to reunite the team, reminisce, and restore the name. Their last “job” together was a failure landing one in jail, the other two charged, and seven innocents also charged. Not really a brains operation on this one.
It began as just a get together with lots of drinking and bowling, then led to karaoke. As Clyde #1 laid down an excellent rendition of Beastie Boys “Paul Revere” he was interrupted by an annoying patron with a Mexican drum of sorts. The drum continued through other peoples performances with the same discontent. Then when Clyde #1 dropped Violent Femmes “Blister in the Sun” accompanied again by the drum, something had to be done. So the old team’s natural instincts took over. A Kansas City Shuffle, everybody looks right, and you go left…
Like clockwork no words were spoken. The plan filled their heads telepathically and since Clyde #2 had a bowling ball bag he would be the decoy. Bonnie would serve as the actual thief, with her long jacket. And Clyde #1 would accompany her escape out of the building and provide a getaway ride…
The karaoke DJ provided the catalyst by taking a “Now here’s a word from our sponsors” break. As the crowd thinned for bathroom breaks, Clyde # 2 scooped up the drum and his bowling bag. With a little slight of hand it was passed to Bonnie who tucked it under her arm like a football running back, and covered the evidence by hanging her jacket over the same arm. Clyde # 1 took her other arm to accompany her and “The Goods” out of the building and to the getaway car. Clyde #2 took the lead to set the bait for much needed decoy, about 20 feet ahead. As they exited the front entrance, so far so good. Now out of the building, they made way to the getaway cars when security yelled “Hey I need to see your bowling bag”. Hook, line, and sinker. As Bonnie and Clyde #1 continued their paths uninterrupted, Clyde #2 gave the performance of his life showing how appalled he was for being accused of taking a drum. Drum? What Drum? What the hell are you talking about drum? Bonnie and Clyde #1 entered the getaway car and made way to the meeting place, while Clyde #2 convinced security of his innocence…Just like old times, they never skipped a beat. Partners in crime forever…
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