One short, according to my ThanXgiving math...
So last ThanXgiving i wrote a short, let's call it an anecdote, about a turkey named Shorty. Shorty survived last years ThanXgiving math against what i thought were insurmountable odds. To recap the story, there is a cyclone fence that separates the property i live on from the neighbors multifaceted farmville parallel. And what i mean by that is, even though its mostly unattended to, it seems to be minimally revitalized with just an hour of wasted time that you'll never get back. About 2 months before last ThanXgiving the "Farmville" let loose 21 turkeys, free range. I would arrive home from work each day and have gobblers along the fence line. But one turkey was smaller than the others and had a bum leg, always last to the fence. Now Shorty as i named him, not because of his stature, but in honor of Too Short's rap "Shorty the Pimp, He walks with a limp" according to my ThanXgiving math would be on the chopping block first. But to my surprise what i learned watching Charlotte's Web as kid does not relate to all farmers, allegedly. He must have been "Some" turkey. As the days leading up to last ThanXgiving dwindled, so did the head count. Subtraction was the only math i was doing when i arrived home each day. And Shorty was the sole survivor. So last year, in his honor, i decided to abstain from eating turkey. Until i arrived at ThanXgiving dinner, i couldn't help it, I'm a tryptophan junkie.
So an update... Shorty surprisingly survived Xmas. Say that five times fast. And spent most of his spring and summer hobbling the farm with the likes of chickens. Almost like a pimp and his corral of hoes (or coup, to be politically correct in the barnyard). Up until today. Which leads me to believe he will be resting comfortably on the good china this ThanXgiving. So this year, in his honor, i will not kid myself. Hello, My name is Scott and yes i am a tryptophan junkie. One leg will go uneaten in his honor... unless of course it makes a delicious leftover turkey sandwich...
Happy ThanXgiving to all, including Shorty
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